I Like My Universe More

I had to take a quick shower today since I hit the snooze button about 6 times before getting out of bed.  I had a crazy dream that night that got me thinking a little bit beyond our planet.  No, no aliens involved.

Operating under the assumption that the universe expands and contracts with very indefinite (or infinite) outer bounds, would it be possible that every singular object within the universe was expanding or contracting at the same rate?  That is, that while our actual volume changes, the scale remains exactly the same.

I may have graduated with an engineering degree, but most of the information from science classes no longer reside in my brain.  I do know however that there is some evidence showing that the distance between a finite number of objects is increasing, and that our planet is actually getting farther away from other objects (like stars and galaxies) as time goes on.  I guess this is really the same sort of theory, but with density.  At the beginning of time (?) the universe was a single point with infinite density.  As the universe expanded it’s volume increased exponentially and the universe became less and less dense as time passed.

I personally think this would be way more fun.

Catastrophe Shopping List

It might seem like all I do in the shower is list things, but after seeing numerous movies and TV shows where some event brings doom to society as we know it, it really got me thinking: What would I grab in a panicked rush at the supermarket before running off to my secret hideaway?  This has to take into account a couple things.  First of all, there is only so much I can fit into my 2003 Honda Accord, so the total volume of the items grabbed must be limited.  Secondly, Items must be prioritized assuming that I can only drag two shopping carts around by myself, and that I could make two trips before the car would be reasonably full, and the gains of returning back to the store would be very dimished due to the mass of other people trying to accomplish the same thing.

To summarize the goals:

• Get as much nutritional value per unit volume as possible
• Grab items with the highest looter demand first
• Find those “hidden gem” items on the second trip that others might not think of right away

Without further adu, here is the list of items I came up with:

High Priority:

• Energy Bars
• Canned foods (soups, chili, all that)
• Canned fruits and vegetables
• Cereal
• Trail mixes/Granola

 

Non-Food:

• Vitamins
• Batteries
• Water Filters
• Medical Supplies

Second Trip (Assume most of the good stuff is gone):

• Dog food
• Chocolate/candy (Has a ton of calories, and happiness?)
• Rice
• Bulk food section (dried fruits, granola, whatever)
• Peanut butter and other high-calorie condiment type things

Non-Food (For barter use later):

• Coffee
• Cigarettes
• Matches and/or Lighters

I feel like I’m missing a bunch of options here, but that’s all for now!

Girlfriend Application:

The quick list I brainstormed in the shower yesterday.

Please have one or more of the following attributes:

1. Cute
2. Ticklish
3. The ability to be exciting, or random
4. Short hair
5. A cute nickname with one or two syllables
6. A British accent
7. Creative curse words
8. A red nose on a cold day
9. Love video games, excluding all MMOs.
10. Long and/or skinny fingers
11. The ability to play music on some sort of device
12. Are very competitive at an obscure sport
13. A cool major like Anthropology and a dream to discover underground temples in Cambodia
14. Like to travel
15. A secret belief that those cute squirrels really do know what you said to them
16. A pout, or a mischievous grin

 

Please do not have:

1. Lots of pink clothes, especially if you are Caucasian.
2. A ton of make-up, or long bleached hair, or a sorority hoodie.
3. A very annoying laugh, used at the worst times
4. A bigger obsession with beer than me
5. An unnatural attraction to horses
6. A fake tan
7. Those damn nose studs, do girls not realize this makes them look like either a slut, or someone with a pimple on their nose!?
8. Any desire to get drunk, squeal a whole bunch, and start blowing somebody (No, that ONE time doesn’t count)
9. An irrational fear of spiders.  There’s only room up on a chair for one person…
10. If you like: Hunting, rodeo, cowboy hats, guys that drive trucks, country music, etc
11. If you hate kids because they would tap into your shoe budget
12. … Yes, that means you can’t have more than 20 pairs of shoes.
13. … Fine, 21 pairs of shoes.  Who can really get through Christmas without red shoes with bell tassels?

I had a way better list at the time.  It’s like when you have an amazing idea when you are dreaming, and when you wake up you are just SURE it couldn’t have been an LED light dog collar powered by tail wagging.